Another drop in the sea

"Could've been worst" its the only thought that comes to my mind when I realized my soul was already damaged enough to cry for help. Just when you thought things were getting better, you notice you spend your precious time in worthless needles that were pinching your heart, and you didn't see the fatal arrow that caused the bloodstream you're crying for. That's when you find out you changed what you swore you wouldn't: your dreams, your heroes, your favorite fairytale, your nightmares ... even waking up in the same bed, at the same time, with the same pillow, seems a whole new different story. You spend days and nights wondering how, when and why, and start digging in a back hole that will take nowhere near the wanted answer, simply because there is no such. You are broken. And even if you spend the rest of your days trying to put the pieces together, seems like an endless job. And it pretty much is.

I changed. I did my best to stay the way I was once, to grab the hands of time and turn them my way, to take a deep breath every now and then just to see life two days in a row from the same spot. Maybe I was hoping for to much. It was hard to understand i can't stop the beat of my heart whenever i want to shed a tear, mend it if someone happened to break it, and keep up with it's rhythm. Its easier to turn your soul into unbreakable prison... just like the you were taken to when you decided to give your heart away.